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Heartburn

by Aaron Wardwell

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1.
What's a sadder day than Saturday? the day when we go back to work Monday is a sadder day than Saturday the day when we are prone to having bad road rage passing on the freeway in the breakdown lane it feels really good to lose control sometimes ride the clutch and rev the gas and flash the lights tailing tight and giving kids the frights I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand... Have you ever heard of Sunday funday? the day we spend with family and we tell the ticket master take me away today I want to see the country then again during all this fun and recreation we still have a feeling that is sublimin- ally nagging at us that it's gonna end and Monday is almost here again I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand...
2.
Maybe she's just messing with my head maybe she's just playing hard to get maybe I'm just not her kind of guy maybe she just loves to see me cry Maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree maybe we just ain't got chemistry maybe I'm a wreck when I'm with her maybe she wants her man to not have nerves Maybe she just needs a little time maybe she's got too much on her mind I'm sure she'll come around and call me though or maybe maybe maybe she just won't
3.
The nights are getting longer counting down the days until November Sarasota bound Hardly see my daughter anymore what does she not wanna see me for? My grandkids think I'm the damn old sally from next door who gives them candy and sits on her porch The ladies tell me it'll be better in a year or so when menopause ends Then hallelu I'm a liberated woman again hallelu I'm a mountain lion on a mountain hallelu I'm a liberated woman again hallelu hallelujah hallelujah amen Back in Sarasota people care who I am they want to know ya and become your friend But up in Jersey the only friends I have made I gave them money just so they stayed I don't think Jersey's ever gonna see me again Oh she'll be sorry finally when Three days a week I'm getting my fingernails filed and running through the waves like a child Then hallelu I'm a liberated woman again hallelu I'm a mountain lion on a mountain hallelu I'm a liberated woman again hallelu hallelujah hallelujah amen
4.
Gonna Be 01:43
I stroll around the gallery like I'm something to see my paisley shirt and tan capris don't mess around with me I take tea at the posh cafe and bitch about the scones and rant about acrylic paints to the kid who hangs the coats When I was younger they'd say about me gonna be somebody gonna be somebody Remember my name remember me please gonna be somebody gonna be somebody I partake in the punk-rock show and loiter at the back and as the kids are getting the most peppy I relax I yawn and pull out of my ass a copy of Ulysses and grab a chair and take a seat and I pretend to read When I was younger they'd say about me gonna be somebody gonna be somebody remember my name remember me please gonna be somebody gonna be somebody...
5.
The first time that it came to me I was twenty three it woke me up and hung above me like a cloud I had played a show that night with shaky hands and i threw up cursed my brother gave up music took a walk The second time I saw its light I was twenty-five it woke me up from a dream of my friend Molly who had died It all was hitting me tonight the passage of time my health decline the endless drive the colder weather the names of doctors cloudy skies my aching hunger then a dream as clear as day and Molly saying it's okay The next time I saw it again I was twenty seven it woke me up I had been praying for a sign It just seemed absurd to me grown ups crying like babies breathing through a straw scattered you in the lake and I mowed your lawn took a walk with my mom cried alone on the dock keeping watch for your ghost and expecting a sign or whatever you like saying everything's fine saying everything's fine tell me everything's fine

credits

released December 4, 2020

All songs were written and produced by Aaron Wardwell.

Harmonies on "Maybe" were sung by Victoria Petway.

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Aaron Wardwell Boston, Massachusetts

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